Experiences of a Relationship Counsellor in Wokingham – Dealing with our partner’s emotions
Paul Cockayne – 07791 970406 – paulcockayne3@gmail.com
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We show our emotions in different ways. Some people are very demonstrative – crying easily, shouting when angry, very bouncy when happy. Others are more restrained, preferring to deal with their emotions internally, going quiet and perhaps withdrawing if they are upset.
Just as we show emotions differently, we also deal with our partner’s emotions differently. Some of us are undisturbed by raised voices, others are fearful. Some are comfortable with silence, while others feel very rejected by a quiet partner. Some of us are content to let our partners “cry it out” while others feel a need to stop the tears as soon as possible.
The way we show emotions, and the way we deal with them, are most likely to b be learnt behaviours, dating back to our childhood and how our parents dealt with emotions then.
It can be helpful, in counselling, to understand the origins of our behaviours and understand what might make them difficult for our partner to deal with. With that understanding, can come the ability to adapt our behaviours to improve our relationship.