Paul Cockayne - Relationship Counsellor

Paul Cockayne – 07791 970406 – paulcockayne3@gmail.com
For more information about me click on a link on the right

Some people come into counselling under duress – persuaded by their partner that it is worth trying, not convinced it has any value. A client recently told me that she had only come to counselling to “shut her partner up” and was expecting that after a couple of sessions she would be able to convince him that it wasn’t working, and that they should stop.

However, when she finished counselling she said that her view had changed. She said that by the end of the second session she was finding that having an environment where she could talk about things was a great relief for her – that she had never felt able to do that before. She realised that she had not been able to relax and be herself with her partner and that the “act” she forced herself to put on 24 hours a day was immensely stressful for her. She said that it had become her who encouraged her partner to come for counselling, rather than the other way around.

Her feelings are not uncommon – so if you are sceptical about counselling, it’s maybe worth just giving it a chance, and seeing what happens?

Paul Cockayne – 07791 970406 – paul_cockayne@hotmail.com
For more information about me click on a link on the right

Sometimes all can seem lost. Counselling can be a difficult and challenging process – it is about change – sometimes about making quite fundamental changes in one’s beliefs – and that can be stressful.

Sometimes couples come to a point where it all seems too difficult, and they think about ending counselling and ending their relationship. Sometimes one of the couple finds that sitting in the counselling room is too difficult, and that they need to leave the session.

In my experience, this “darkest moment” does indeed “come before the dawn”. It seems that when we get to the nub of the problem, it is the most difficult time for one or both of the couple. But often I find that this is the moment of change. It may be that some serious thinking needs to be done, but often I find that this is the moment when the corner is turned, and the couple can start to build again, from the bottom up, and develop a new, and a better, relationship.