Paul Cockayne - Relationship Counsellor

Paul Cockayne – 07791 970406 – paul_cockayne@hotmail.com
For more information about me click on a link on the right

So, you’ve had a number of sessions of counselling, your relationship has improved, so should you stop counselling? Is there a risk that things will go backwards if you do?

Well, it depends. Every couple is different, but during counselling I will be making sure that we spend time discussing these questions. There is a danger with counselling that you can become dependent upon it, and that is something that I want to make sure doesn’t happen.

Some people think of counselling as a “safety net” – a place where they can talk about things that feel too difficult to deal with at home. There is comfort in that, but the idea is to get you to a place where you can discuss (and resolve) difficult stuff at home. If coming to counselling stops you doing that, it can be counter-productive.

So, as a counsellor, I will be encouraging you to take some risks at home, and not bring all the difficult stuff to counselling. There are ways of keeping this safe that we can work on, such as having a code word that you can use to call a “time out” if things threaten to get heated. Then you can talk in counselling about what went wrong and we can look together for better ways.

But ultimately, it’s up to you when you finish counselling. Some people finish quite suddenly, while others prefer a gradual end. I am flexible to your needs, and am happy to hold sessions fortnightly or monthly if that makes sense for you.

Finally, remember that the end is not the end. You can always come back to counselling in the future, if you hit a bad patch or want help with a particular issue. The counselling relationship can be an ongoing one. When we finish counselling I do tend to joke that “I hope (for your sake) I never see you again” it is always a pleasure when clients do choose to return to counselling.