Experiences of a Couple Counsellor in Wokingham – Blame
Paul Cockayne – 07791 970406 – paulcockayne3@gmail.com
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It’s great being in a relationship because there’s always someone else to blame if things go wrong. Some people find it difficult to accept criticism or to admit fault and, perhaps following the maxim that “attack is the best form of defence” will blame their partner for their own failings.
“BUT” is a word that is often used in this context, as in “I hear what you’re saying, but….”, which really means “You’re wrong!! Here’s how it is….”. Watch out for yourself using “but” when talking to your partner. It can be very dismissive and critical. If you think you do this too often, try using “and” instead of “but”. You can even make this into a game all the family can play, with the equivalent of a swear box with a fine to be paid every time someone says “but”. It’s surprising how much a little thing can change your communication.